Intimatitudes

by Bomethius

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jeaster Really good vocals and instrumentals. Can't hum it but it is dark and catchy. Favorite track: Offensive.
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about

An ambitious concept record about overcoming depression, Intimatitudes is the first full-length release from Bomethius, the lo-fi baroque pop alias of Jonathan Hodges, a Dallas-based composer and multi-instrumentalist.
A portmanteau of “intimate” and “attitudes,” the record melds Hodges’ indisputable chops and impressive musicality with a flair for wit to chronicle the internal turmoil of an earnest youth’s coming of age. Its 13 tracks comprise a series of vignettes that narrate an adolescent’s retreat from childhood hopes and convictions, followed by his ensuing journey — at turns pilgrimage and jihad — through the incoherence of contemplative life.

Recalling Brian Wilson’s “Our Prayer,” the record opens with “Empty Promises,” a wordless invocation of a cappella harmonies. Pleasant yet empty, the chords capture the bittersweet solace of youthful assurance — placeholders for the dulcet deceits well-meaning adults feed children.
A relentless spate of rage follows. Spurred by the anger, doubt, and violence that attend dashed dreams, Bomethius’ anti-hero adopts a panoply of musical styles to carry his increasingly transgressive complaints. Track by track, Intimatitudes’ first side traces his transition from sensitive soul to unstable victim (“HURTis”), insolent romantic (“IN-LAWS”), clever cynic (“Crapé Diem”), and beyond until he’s tied himself in knots.

A confessional ballad that doubles as an angry lullaby, “HURTis” belies the soft touches and undulating melody of a nocturne to evoke an inexpressible fury before the wailing violin and restless piano salvos of “Offensive” mutate into arrant contempt for respectability, family, and faith in the following tracks.

Having lost the thread, the wayfarer explores self-destruction and resignation in “The Kiwi Tree,” which employs deft musical parody to sketch the tortuous internal dialogue that attends early acts of rebellion. Further buried beneath layers of coping behaviors, his hold on identity eventually dissolves into the paranoid dissonance of “Look in the Mirror,” a jarring jumble of artfully disconnected layers and voices that sounds like a Brainticket rendition of an Andrew Bird song.

A cinematic paean to mortality and commitment, “Merried” doffs the sarcasm of earlier tracks to genuflect before the fear and trembling of a life lived amid pretensions and attempts. Foregoing the premature resolution of popular romance, his steps instead lead him to countenance, with poise and maturity this time, the radical isolation and indeterminacy at the heart of human experience — the slip and flux of selfhood, love, and purpose that affect everyone.

In “Merried,” understated vocals complement tight phrasing and solid imagery before plaintive guitar and keys shepherd a departed soul into the ether where tender flourishes peter out into awe and dread. Only as the youth learns to accept ignorance and incompleteness can he find the power to emerge from the pall and articulate a genuine hope in the coda, “Hope Springs Internal.”

While it considers familiar subject matter, Intimatitudes showcases Hodges’ formidable talents to great effect. The result is a spry meditation on the sorrows of growing up amid dogma and expectation with energy and zeal to spare — and a clear forerunner of greater things as this young talent continues to grow.

credits

released November 17, 2017

This album would not have come together in as coherent a manner if it were not for the invaluable criticism and support of Benjamin and David Hodges, Michael Mincough, Brandon Hicks (who graciously loaned his Taylor Acoustic which was used on the majority of the tracks), J. S. Easterman (Who provided the Ibanez Voyager used for the solo on 'Merried' and 'Hope Springs Internal'), Martin Lazo, Travis Carrol, Cynthia Gu, Dr. David Mead, and my parents. I am beyond grateful to each of them, (and many others) for the amount of time each of them has given to me and this project, and I look forward to reveling in the experiences I have had in bringing this album to fruition.

I want to credit Thomas Watterson as the teacher that convinced me that I had the ability to write.

I want to thank J. S. Easterman (responsible for the front cover), Martin Lazo (the back cover/track listing), and Hannah Thorp (developed the idea that became the back cover) for their artistic vision in bringing the artwork to life. While there were a lot of ideas that didn't make the cut, I never would have found "the cut" if it weren't for your willingness to try my terrible ideas. Thank you for bearing with me!

I specifically want to thank Benjamin Hodges for his willingness to contribute his own powerful and particular genius by crafting the promotional copy for this project. Our conversations at the beginning of this process were marked by a sincerity of depth and meaning that I hope only continues to grow with the years ahead. In the midst of his own chaotic and stressful life he made an incredible effort to guide and shepherd this project. It would not have been the same album without him.

Credit is also due to Alexander Lexington for producing the instrumental portion of "Heartbreak of Reality," and many thanks for graciously allowing me to use the track on this album.

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about

Bomethius Dallas, Texas

Bomethius is the alter ego recording alias of Jonathan Hodges (b. 10-10-96), a Dallas based musician. An accomplished violinist, Hodges started studying music at age 3. Addressing doubts, fears, and disappointments from his own personal experience, Hodges recorded the first two Bomethius albums alone in his bathroom and quickly developed a unique baroque pop sound informed by melancholy, and wit. ... more

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Track Name: HURTis
Some people don't start aging
Until it's too late
to fully recover
What's been lost and destroyed.

Some turn 16, and never get a day past it.
Nothin much hasn't changed.

You didn't have to
take it out on me.
All I ever wanted
was someone
Someone to look up to.

We become most what we hate--and can't beat
And since I couldn't beat you I became you instead.

Our dysfunctions are fed by
Familial presence. They coddle
And bribe with cursed assurance.

Does anyone really love you?
If they can't tell you when you're wrong
Do you know for sure
that anybody really loves you?

If you were scared, you never said a thing.
And if you hated me, I don't know what I've done.

I found darkness
I know you have too.

We'll all find darkness
I just wanted
to laugh at it with you.

Does anyone really love you.
Does anyone really love you.
Does anyone really love you.
Do you even love yourself?
Track Name: Offensive
Awakening is sure,
So forget your slumber —
When your lids will close
On the light of your darkness.
Track Name: IN-LAWS
New habits die old,
and old habits die few.

Every person single has standards too high.
But otherwise engaged they’re simply too low.

So let’s build us a prison
We can step inside as equals
And then we’ll both have something to burn.

I want to be someone special
to you one day.
In other words
Let's make each other cry…
Spoken: (with vows... forever and ever.)

So you’ll gain weight some day
and I will resent you—or maybe I won’t.
I’ll lose my job,
We’ll lose our house
Our children won’t respect us

I’ll hate your in-laws (Wait. Wouldn't that just be my family?)
I’ll hate your in-laws, if you’ll hate mine.
You’ll hate my in laws and we'll all hate yours.
Track Name: Siblings
You and me
Don't have to be
Enemies
We could be
Good siblings
And friends
We could play
All day
Till Mom comes in
And ruins everything
We could be happy
Just you and me.
Track Name: Crapé Diem
What a friend Jesus has in Sinners
A purpose to guide the will.

How many stamps do you need to send stamps?
What of the nameless, do we cry for you?
Did you know to cry too?

Let’s cry for statistics, grasp at the humanity we have left.
In this day and age, who do we blame?

Will you look you in the mirror, if I'll look back at me?
We’re running out of reasons to pursue our breath (guilt)

The future is unwinding in the present
The past reliving in the pleasant

If we could but glimpse realities unknown

Aren't memories romantic? Cuz you don't have to be there...
Aren’t memories romantic? Let's just stay home... (make memories here)

If you knew what would kill you, before it killed you
Would you ever get out of bed?
Would you seize the day
Or would you just hang your head?

Let’s cry for statistics, grasp at the humanity we have left
In this day and age, whom do we blame?
Track Name: The Kiwi Tree
Have you ever seen the kiwi tree?
Well neither have I.
But Wouldn't you like to eat one with me?
We can certainly try...

If he wasn't a tool before he said "I do.”
He certainly will be afterwards—as they all do.
If it weren't for secretaries
where would our step mothers be?

If you tune out the mosquitoes
they will suck your blood
more silently.

But what do you know?
But what do you know?
Not very much...

I finally found a kiwi tree
Turns out their fur isn't for eating...
Our death was knowledge free... sweeter ends are meeting.

If I could die any slower I’d have to blame you.
Like a feral mange that perches on a yorkie... "you're cute!" Isn't helping.

Are these few fruit properly rottening?
They should sit a little bit longer…

The tallest blade of grass ought to be cut first.

The blades have just been sharpened.
The blades have just been sharpened.
The Blades have just been sharpened.

Every drop thinks it caused the flood alone...
But the clouds couldn't care less

But what do you know?
But what do you know?
Not very much.
Track Name: Heartbreak of Reality [prod. Unknown Virtue]
Dawn sets upon the heartbreak of reality.
And the sun lights the darkest of our shadows.
My shadow's shadow has no friend--and I feel loneliest with you.

You've lit our whole world
From the ashes of desire
Our forests have burned down
They’ve caught your fire.

You've lit our whole world
From the ashes of desire
Our forests have burned down
We've caught your fire.
Track Name: Look in the Mirror
Do you look in the mirror to see yourself,
Or to make sure you’re properly hidden?

You shouldn't have to look in the mirror... (Look in the mirror.)
Who knows what you will find?
Looking through the glass of your eyes
Are those even your eyes?

Do you look in the mirror to see yourself?
To make sure you're properly
Hidden.
Track Name: We Are All But Stories
Today you are becoming the story you'll be. An entirety composed in a few minutes.

Repeated, rewritten, and sung... you'll never know all the things you've done.

Mournful, hysterical, embittered... didn't you choose how you'd be remembered.

*Interlude*

Anecdotes armed with adjectives few,
sprawled across the room
They paint a wretched portrait for all to hear
The unsettling tale of doom.

If you and I had really but met, would we have thought this much of about it?
Would you have given us something (anything) to suffer for?
Or would you have taken what little was left?

Life and dark often meet, would you have been my light?
The world is full of stories untold.
And it seems all the worse for the ones it has known.
Don't you wish it had known yours?
Don't you wish it had remembered you?
Don't you wish it had remembered you?
Don't you wish it had remembered you?
*breath of mortality*
Track Name: Suicide
Wind bloomed the flowers by,
And rays of summer tended to their colors.
Nature lead him into a loving arm
On a day of self made sorrows.

The day's loneliness glorified.
The day’s loneliness glorified.
The day joylessness committed suicide.
The day joylessness committed suicide.

Rains provide a music divine
That plays upon roofs and ponds alike,
The rumbling of thunderous distance
In the security of doubts and prayers.

The waning evening
allows the introspective nothings
of a solitary reader and his pipe,
to pour forth incense in the name of the Unspoken.

Doesn’t silence render peace?
Does silence render peace?
A gentle reminder of we’ll be.

If I didn't quite find joy, at least it wasn't despair.
And that's made all the difference.

The day's loneliness glorified.
The day's loneliness glorified.
At last joylessness found suicide.
At last joylessness found suicide.
Track Name: Merried
What was the last of your final thoughts?
Did you miss all your chances, and all the times you fought?

Does she know you love her
even though she isn't here?
Did they all come true—all the things you feared?

Here at the end, what have you left to lose?
No don't say or death might take ours too.

We got married standing in shared graves.
In them we'll grow separate one day.

Our memories shared will float away.
But the trees well watered will have to stay.

No matter whom you love
and how much they hate you
each of us must die alone.

Pretty clothes and ashes,
Gardens of bones.
As you go onwards, I'll wave alone.
Track Name: Hope Springs Internal
My little ray of sunshine
You greet me in the morning time
The shape of your love is all through my vision
And it preys on my heart’s inclination

To move forward
And not look backward
Our momentum will carry me away
At least for the rest of today

I'm glad for a few moments together
And beside me, you could reign forever
This darkness is so lonesome
And I've seen all I'll need from
Today

Unto our arms we'll flounder
And sink above the laughter
Our hearts might take a beating
With the silver of our lies finally meeting

Today Today
Today

I've had enough of the blinds and curtains
So cut them down and burn them
Crack the songs of birds wide open

Introduce your home to something new
Introduce your soul to something true
Introduce your home to the few
Introduce your soul to someone true

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